Journal About Gratitude: Self-Care and Self-Indifference Day 1

Gratitude is real appreciation. I make it in the now - very present and very needed to recover from the hard knocks and hard times I experienced in Troy, New York.

Trying to brush off the idea that things had not gotten that bad to beginning to ask myself how this indifference clouded my vision of my current realtity.   Was this indifference a feeling or emotion that crept in soul, a little bit at a time causing decisions that where based on an attitude of indifference.  I sat and thought a minute, have things have become disordered because my decisions became focused away from important life goals.  Somehow I was lead somewhere I did not want to go, to a place where actions were out of alignment with a real vision of the original intentions I had in mind for my life.   

At home the signs were there, my roommate did not want to talk to me and started spending more time in bed - resting.  I spent my efforts trying to coach, advice, fix and help with the feelings in the home environment as a result of a lull that took over our lives.  When I called on the phone, there was silence on the other end of the line.  When we first met each other, his dreams where shattered by how this lull caused ill health.  He was bed-ridden for months, staying under cover during the cold months - hibernating for the winter.  

Despite this, I still wondered why the house was unkept, and why clutter was piled everywhere. The mess was something I felt I could conquer but I was only kidding myself.  After failed attempts at trying to connect to my roommate, I started a journey to recovery, looking for all the whys and hows to remedy my situation. Facing facts about failed my job search in which all the efforts of planning a career went out the window. My wallet was screaming feed me, instead of a much wanted income, we began collecting food on the free line.  

A trap was set where a free pile of really good food, was a temporary fix not a permanent fixture.  And feeding the unemployed fellows that spent their lifetime savings, or disabled people who unable to find their way into work.  As the years rolled by, this attractive habit of relying on free food, became a crutch.   Since time went by with less progress, I have reconsidered whether I could help with the clean up any situation including the renovation of this home. 

His silence was followed by a change in character.  A necessary review of what would open the doors of communication, collaboration and progress towards positive change.  I had a unwavering spirit where giving up was not part of my plan. This plan was about learning to work with impossible characters on impossible causes starts with self-care.

Self - care believing in a growth mindset starts by finding true appreciation for my life.  

Journal About Gratitude: No Agenda

One commitment to a focus on wellness included writing in a journal about gratitude.

The well know psychologist Laurie Santos is a professor at Yale who teaches a course on the science of wellness. Finding her course on Coursera, I took an audit since the topic was interesting to me.  Not withstanding I read Kelly's book on Happiness, and gave it a positive review.  The impact book had an impact on my life, I used it at home when I needed to help my roommate get out of a severe depression.  Somehow that smile was contagious - it caught on like fire.   I can't put down Santo's course on wellness, since the rewirements are an ongoing process leading to that goal of achieving overall wellbeing.  The book was free and the course was an audit but the time spent with it was more than I expected.  

Savor the experience - being present in the moment, and connecting to the experience.  I did it at the Diner in Brunswick NY. My roommate was enjoying his favorite dish - fish medley.  Just an attempt at enjoying my friend's company without much of an agenda. Since there was always an agenda for me, I made that small change which  I made the day one one I would always remember. 

Mountains of Money: Revolving Debt

Secured and unsecured debt. What do I need to know about making ordinary payments and money?

Having just taking credit cards for granted means taking for granted that I would always have a source of income to pay off the remaining balance.  Revolving credit allows for a balance at the end of the month since only a minimum payment is due.  Sometimes the balance accrues for individuals that end up without a job with a salary and benefits, or without a savings account that covers almost all of the expenses. Not taking positive actions leaves an in-debt person without the means of successfully resolving their fate of not having enough.  

Whipping out a credit card and making a payment without much thought or concern was just the way money works in the world of finance and business.  Then receiving the bill and making a payment without examining what was bought and how much was spent.  Falling into a debt cycle may require halting all activities that require a payment.  A typical example is the cost daily cup of coffee. Examining over a month to a year of what a coffee habit costs a consumer. 

In the world of finance the payment process is often an automated process designed to get what is due to the creditor's bank account.  First things first, using credit cards is not always a best choice since not everyone considers developing a set of personal finance skills one of their first priorities.  Priority means a daily record of expenses and income, a monthly budget and allocated spending plan.

As soon I graduated from engineering school, my sister set me up for my first credit card, an American Express card.  Oh boy, then there was a Discover card and a Fuel card and of course a Bank Visa card. My sister started her career by entering a college program in art and design.  She was interested in entering the world of fashion and started with an internship in Filene's in retail and fashion. After some deliberation she changed her career focus and switched to accounting. And at that time she was a female who entered a male dominated field by getting her CPA. 

Attending and participating in financial literacy workshops help convince me not to use credit cards, instead to buy with cash.  I finally understood that when I use my credit card I am taking out a short term loan. It is a debt I need to pay since I am using money that I do not have in my wallet or bank account. When I use my credit card, I am borrowing money from a creditor.  That is called a line of credit - a revolving debt.  The financial arrangement made with the creditor includes an set or variable interest rate which can effect the ability for someone to pay off the entire balance owed the creditor.

Using revolving debt to cover expenses while unemployed may lead to bankruptcy.